Moving On

I`m trying to move forward through my grief.I`m trying to make new friends,but apparently I am going about it the wrong way. I will move forward on my own,with God`s help.

I ordered some books from Amazon,I was disappointed till I received the book called Getting to the Other Side of Grief.It is written by 2 people,a woman who is a clinical psychologist & a man who is an ordained minister.It is written through a Christian perspective.They eventually got together to write this book .They had both lost spouses.They did marry later.I recommend it.

Every couple of days,I am not ok.I worry about the upcoming winter.How am I going to handle winter this year? I walked through the woods today remembering how my dh wanted to build a new house way in our woods.I meander through it today looking at the new growth.So many ferns...We let old trees stand for wildlife,but there is much new growth there too.So many old memories...I recall a woman who was so afraid of my husband that she called her husband home from a hunting trip...because my husband had knocked on her door to ask permission to look in her yard for a deer that may have died there after he shot it.Her husband was livid.My husband was shocked.He had never done anything to make her afraid. The new growth is forgiving of the view of their house now.I know one day I will have to walk down there to check our pins on the property.Our woods is wild & free.Their little development doesn`t allow for much.They were dumping cat litter,brush,even their outdoor dog pen on our property.My dh would check our pins regularly.They didn`t much like it.I expect they won`t like me either.

No nests in trees.The huge stick nest is gone,been gone for awhile.Did the birds transfer it to somewhere else? You`d think with all of the sticks, I would have seen some evidence of it if it had fallen to the ground.

The crows have a nest somewhere,and the hawk has been hunting,hunting.At dusk last night the hawk must have taken a robin,I heard the robins chirping sadly.Another sad voice was the red-bellied woodpecker.I rushed out in my nightgown with the camera,but couldn`t see.Then I worried,I am too old to be rushing around outside in the dusk.Too old,too old,but I am not old.Really.59.Best years of my life are coming,I know, as God has promised me He needs me here yet.

barley blowin` in the wind

crow carrying nest materials

crow,hiding in the pines

Pictures from the farm,another place so close to my heart,love you Cathleen & Lamar...growth in the woods,birds at the house.

song sparrow on the farm