Monday, February 9, 2009

Concentration and other stuff

My concentration has been off lately.I`m worrying & praying about things I can never change on my own.I have given this particular problem to God for 20 years now,praying different ways,but now I guess I will just pray for myself for peace in knowing God will handle this problem when the time is right.When you have adult children who keep going down the wrong roads,you begin to lose focus on caring for your own self.I`ve been trying to care for children & adult children,I take a step back,let them fend on their own,& when they falter again,I try to pick them back up.It is not working.I need to take care of myself now,so am going within myself to embrace & care for myself.
My lungs are still not clear,I failed the pulmonary test,not enough volumn,whatever that means,& am now set up with a specialist in March-can`t get in till March.While looking for answers to my lung condition since I am not a smoker,I started looking at enbrel,an injection I take for my RA.Guess what.It has all the side effects of what is going on with my lungs.I don`t see my arthitis doc till the end of the month,so will discuss it with him then.Meanwhile,I am still injecting once a week in case there is a test to see if that is what is causing this.I guess I should just stop it.But certainly it won`t kill me with 2 more injections till I see the RA doc.
Back to my concentration,here is a prime example of how I cannot even concentrate on my crafts even.I am trying to use up leftovers in my sewing room.This penny rug would have been more pretty if I had those expensive felted wools,but my goal is to use up leftover fabric I already have.The white tails are the fleece from the twins felted on with my felting machine.I had it all done-so I thought-yesterday & used up all my green thread when I saw 2 of these tongues laying here at the computer that I failed to stitch on,why?because I was thinking about something else & not what I was doing.Now I must tear it out,just on the sides as I can`t live with this mistake I made.My friends say I`m too hard on myself,too critical,but it will look much better done the right way.What do you think?


Debra said...

Phyllis, I like the rug the way it is, but I know how it is when something isn't 'right' in an artist's eye-ya gotta fix it.
I wonder if there isn't some more natural way for you to go with medicine for your RA? I don't know much about it, but it may be worth it for you to research that avenue.
Spring is in the air. There were singing (!!!!!) robins here today. Robin songs are straight from heaven I think.
Love, Debra

phylliso said...

Yes,I feel the same about the robins.I looked to see when they arrived here last year & pics were from the 25th of Feb.,I am watching for them every day now.
The cardinals have been singing,the wrens,the titmice,so happy the silence of winter has almost passed.phylliso

Aleta said...

I think your penny rug looks great and you shouldn't worry about adding those other tongues.
Our robins are here too, in massive flock, talking from the trees. It feels like spring here again today.

Yellow Jacket Ridge Angoras said...

Oh Phyllis that is beautiful! You never cease to amaze me with your craftiness.

I'm so glad you are discovering compassion for yourself. When we become compassionate for ourselves and begin loving ourselves we can love others more fully.

FIONA said...

Phyllis, take care of yourself! Is there any way you can see your doctor before the end of the month? Maybe call and leave a question about your medication and the possible side affects?

I wish we had robins here, but we still have some snow on the ground and it's not going to get above freezing.

I love your penny rug---I wish I could make things like that.

phylliso said...

Thank-you everyone.I have been in so much pain lately it is hard to think.I praise God for the friends I have found on here.You are the best,you ask nothing from me,but God has put you here to help me along,I have tears in my eyes,you all,blessings to you,phylliso