Tuesday, May 19, 2015


Yesterday was 1 year at 11:30 am that my dear husband left to go to heaven. I am not going to post about it every year either.

This is what I put in our newspaper, you may have to click on it to make it large to read easier. I read him Sarah Young`s book the night before as he was thrashing & thrashing about , it seemed the devil & God were fighting over who would take him tho I know he went with our Lord. He died in our living room in the hospice bed with rails in the middle of our living room , his eyes ever on heaven, & as he took his last breath, & looked over at the kitchen, & his eyes followed something...then there was a joyous bark, not coming from here , it came from wherever he was looking, & I wonder if it was Maggie who first met him at the gate with all the others because our parrot had been saying Maggie , come on Maggie...& no one has said her name since she died. He would feed her banana pops all the time which put her a little over her weight bracket back then.

I am content. This year has been terrible, the worst winter ever as far as being cold, & I often wondered why God is keeping me here.

 Rich was unable to get a second liver even tho he had his transplanted one just 2 days shy of 21 years. He took very good care of it, but Hep C is unkind to your blood & will attack the liver again , this time his kidney also was going bad. Sadly, the new drug, Harvoni, would be coming out less than a year after he died that is a cure now for it. I myself am on the last course of treatment because after being married for 40 years you tend to share everything, razors, wounds..my Hep C was discovered when the RA doctor was going to put me on methotrexate & my blood test came back positive for it. It never destroyed my liver, but thank the dear Lord for my job with the state of PA I was able to afford this drug to get rid of it for it costs $1000 a pill for 12 weeks. I am on my last few weeks of taking it, then I`ll be tested.

Our only son, age 41, gave such a great speech at his dad`s funeral, however his addiction grew worse & now he is gone as well, almost like a second death for me to go through as he was sent to a state prison for 5 years. Not for killing anyone, or robbery, or anything like that, just because he would not stop drinking. He didn`t drink & drive. No, he was sitting in a van parked on a street back in 2009 in the winter, & when an officer came by & asked him why he didn`t go inside, it was cold out, my dear son said , I am locked in & can`t get out. The officer said, your window is down!  { At this point I always think, someone give that boy a sign!} So,  5 years probation, in & out, & in & out, house arrest, alcohol bracelet, never would stop, always got caught  drinking beer. I really thought he would stop when his dad died as he promised at the funeral- he was on the alcohol bracelet then,, but no, he got worse. The county said, we can`t make him follow the rules, so he needs to go upstate .Positive thing...maybe he`ll get a mental evaluation now, I`m trying to remain positive, he really has bipolar/pscy problems, it is genetic in both families.

Simon with Dominick & Savannah
Why did I put this out here? Don`t really know. But it has been pure hell here for awhile with my own disabilities , I`ve had some other problems too with a neighbor, but you know what? God is on my side & that`s what I count on every single day.
Dominick with Mia, had both kids this weekend


JoJo said...

What an awful year for you. I'm really sad about your son too. I hope his time away will straighten him out. You are so strong. I know I wouldn't have survived it.

September Violets said...

I'm sorry to hear you've had such a difficult year Phyllis. They do say that God will only give us what we are capable of handling. Even though sometimes it seems like we can't take any more, I still believe this. You must be a very strong person to have come through this year. Keep praying for your son, and I hope he gets the medical treatment he needs for bipolar. Those grandkids and pets must keep your spirits lifted ... they look like lots of fun ;) Take care,

Debra said...

I'm sorry Phylisso-you are really a strong woman-I can't imagine all the stuff you've gone through....God bless and keep you dear one. I love you.