Saturday, September 29, 2012

Maggie`s death/Car accident

What an awful week it`s been.It`s been a terrible year for me,really.I know God will lift me up,He always does,it`s just so hard to climb up out of that pit sometimes.
Well,I`ll start with Last Fri.,the 21st.My ex daughter-in-law`s birthday was Sat,the 22ond,so I decided to have her ,my son,& the children over for pizza Fri.night as I thought she may have her own plans for the weekend,but if she didn`t,she`d know we love her enough to remember her,her parents have both died not so long ago & I wanted to make her smile for her birthday.
The next day was Sat.& Maggie pooped & peed on the floor & had thrown up during the night.She wouldn`t eat.Her poop looked like pepperoni color,so I thought the kids may have slipped her too many pepperoni`s .She accepted a tiny piece of a fish sandwich,but no dog food or anything else.
Sun.she seemed worse,so I called the emergency vet in Hagerstown,Md.& took her down by myself.I found it after getting lost a little.She did bloodwork on 11 year old Maggie,& it showed liver failure plus there was something else going on with her as her body was not making any red blood cells & was trying to recouperate by making white cells.She had a fever.The vet said she could do more testing,xrays,& such.I cried,I didn`t know what to do.She gently said she thought it was time,even though she just got sick,she has cancer or something else going on & she didn`t believe she would make it,she needed a blood transfusion right away,then God knows what else & they`d have to keep her.I decided to let her go.I talked & talked to her,then told the vet we were ready.I stayed with her as she took her last breath.They put her in a nice blue bag after she was wrapped in her blanket that I had brought along & said she could be buried right in it.She rode with me this time in the back seat as I drove down the interstate & cried & had a heart to heart talk with God.I wanted to go home to heaven,life was just getting too hard.
I was about a mile from home,thinking about what shovel I was going to use as my son had our good shovel at his house to plant rose bushes,thinking about where she should go,right beside Max & Hunter,she is my last link to Max,God it hurts so.
Out of the blue,a car comes out of nowhere,I thought it was an airplane at first as it seemed to be airborne at some point,hit me head-on.The air bag deployed & I heard this voice,you can close your eyes,I`ll take you home now,but if you want to stay,snap out of it.I thought of my husband & how he needs me to take care of him,so I snapped out of it.
I did not know when an airbag deploys,it shoots out smoke,I was never in an accident like that.I thought I was on fire & started screaming to get me out.The glass in the drivers door got broke at the junkyard where it was towed,that did not happen in the accident.But my Kia is totalled.They were asking me if I had anyone with me,I said yes,my dead dog is with me.Poor Mag,she went on one heck of a ride,from my car,to my brother`s car to the hospital,then to my husband`s truck at the hospital,then finally home to her final resting place.
I had to go by ambulance.There was nothing in our local paper about it.I have a fractured C7 bone in my neck.I was told not to move at all,& I must say the fire dept.were great with me.They said I could sever the part going to my brain stem & die right away,or damage it more to be paralized from the neck down.So,God was indeed watching over me.I will not post the other vehicle.He refused treatment,but was taken by handcuffs in the police car to the hospital anyhow.This is an intersection that so many people are getting hurt,& 2 weeks ago a man was killed there.I really believed his car & he were coming in to sit on my lap,but he turned the wheel in time so that didn`t happen.Praise God.I went back into the er yesterday & they found I have 2 broken ribs as well.I will see the spine doctor this coming week.I hope they give me something besides this huge collar to wear,I have to wear it at all times.
My husband is very ill,he needs another liver transplant,he has Hep C.We had an appt.in Pittsburgh Wed.,so had to get a rental car as the truck bounced around too much to drive all of that ways.He has had this liver for 19 years.I will blog about the journey later.This time it seems they don`t want to give him another.Well,I fought for him,so he IS going in front of the team to be voted yea or nay for another liver,in the meantime I`m getting him referred elsewhere.So,that in a nutshell was my horrible week that I wasn`t going to write about because it still seems so unbelievable.I haven`t grieved Maggie properly.Bandit seems so lost.I am so lost myself,but I know God is with me always,whenever,whatever happens.

13 comments:

halloweencouple said...

So sorry for the loss of Maggie, hope your recovery is soon, and thankful you fought to be here with us still.

God is always in control although the outcomes aren't always what we want, he has control for sure.

Will be praying someone somewhere decides your husband is getting another transplant.

Hang in there, better days are ahead they just have to be.

Debra said...

Oh Phylliso...I can relate to some of what you have gone through-the loss of a dear friend/pet. You were so brave to drive ALONE to the vet's-that just shows how devoted you are. You have so much going on-I can't imagine how you must be feeling-and then to not be able to totally grieve for Maggie is hard too.
I came home from church today feeling good from the service, but hurt from other things that I can't see a solution for, and that don't seem to change. I hurt. I prayed for some kind of help, and then I read your story. I just wish I could hug you (gently) and say-"It will be fine!" This stuff is so puzzling-we can't see the reason for it. But I know our heavenly Father is seeing it all, and somehow it will help you, or help someone else. It is good to just pour our hearts out to Him-He listens and doesn't care if we're mad either. He's big enough to take it.
I love you dear friend-so much.
And I'm praying.
~Debra

Tammy said...

I'm so sorry Phyllis. You have indeed had much loss this year. When you hadn't posted in a few days I had a feeling something bad was going on. You made the right decision for Maggie I think ---we often don't know for sure and second guess--but in the end the time we buy is often only for ourselves to come to terms with their passing anyway. So glad you were not killed or hurt any worse than you were in the wreck. Geez, what a horrible day. I'll pray that things go through for you husband's transplant.

Tammy

Blake Woodrow said...

Whoa! that was definitely one hell of a wreckage! do you guys have insurance and so on? i can definitely refer you guys to my car accident lawyer arizona that would be a great help, hope you guys are fully recovered.

Debra said...

Just stopping in to say hello, and to let you know I've been thinking about you and praying.
Love, Debra

Raleigh Crowl said...

Aw. I’m sorry to hear about Maggie’s death. Also, I hope that you are okay after the incident. You suffered some serious injuries, but your car definitely took the blow. Have you talked to a lawyer after the incident? I would suggest that you seek legal advice regarding the incident. A personal injury lawyer would help you with any legal matters, especially with filing for a claim.

Regards,
Raleigh Crowl

phylliso said...

I thank all who wrote comments,& all who are praying even tho they don`t blog.I am still in so much pain.Maggie`s death seems unreal since I can only concentrate on changes we`ve had to make,& I still talk to her,then realize she`s not here.See,she was the one who hid under my feet,under the computer,wherever my feet were,she was there.She was my only shadow.Bandit is completely worried about my husband,tho he did take a long walk with me today,he came right back in & went to the room where my husband slept,he sleeps morning to night now.I have talked to everyone I can,trying to get him help,it is hard,phyllis
I`m not supposed to blog or facebook anything about the accident,so many rumors are going around ,still don`t have an offical police report.

Judy said...

I'm so sorry that you lost Maggie. You made the right decision, but that doesn't make it any easier. I know you must be missing her. What an accident, that sounds so painful and the timing of it, just what you didn't need that day. I'll be praying for you and your husband.

Tracy Pierre said...

I’m so sorry to hear about your troubles. Please accept my condolences regarding Maggie. I’m glad to know that you are now okay after that car accident. Are you planning in taking any legal action towards the other driver?

Tracy Pierre

Belinda Jefferson said...

I hope that everything is fine with you, especially after dealing with Maggie’s death and the accident. It is really hard to cope and get back on track after that startling experience. But I can see that you are a strong person, and I know that you can get back on your feet anytime soon. I’m wishing you the best of luck!

Regards,
Belinda Jefferson

Javier Hoppes said...

It definitely has not been an easy month for you. I’m so sorry to hear about Maggie. Anyway. I’m glad to know that you survive. I hope that you’ve been recovering since then. Did you ever find out what actually happened, like where the driver was coming from and how fast he or she was going, for example?

Javier Hoppes

Guadalupe Puthoff said...

Always remember that there is a better plan for you. These things that had happened were only a test of your faith. Don't lose hope, and be strong always, okay? Hmm... Have you received your claims already, or did you file for any?

Guadalupe Puthoff

Grayson Ford said...

Sorry to hear what happened. It is a really sad situation, especially for Maggie. Looking at the damage on your car, it seems the other car really hit you hard. How did it happen? Was the other car speeding? Because a collision like that can only be caused by severely damaging impact. Anyway, I hope everything is all right now after the accident.



@Grayson Ford