Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Moving On

I`m trying to move forward through my grief.I`m trying to make new friends,but apparently I am going about it the wrong way. I will move forward on my own,with God`s help.

I ordered some books from Amazon,I was disappointed till I received the book called Getting to the Other Side of Grief.It is written by 2 people,a woman who is a clinical psychologist & a man who is an ordained minister.It is written through a Christian perspective.They eventually got together to write this book .They had both lost spouses.They did marry later.I recommend it.

Every couple of days,I am not ok.I worry about the upcoming winter.How am I going to handle winter this year? I walked through the woods today remembering how my dh wanted to build a new house way in our woods.I meander through it today looking at the new growth.So many ferns...We let old trees stand for wildlife,but there is much new growth there too.So many old memories...I recall a woman who was so afraid of my husband that she called her husband home from a hunting trip...because my husband had knocked on her door to ask permission to look in her yard for a deer that may have died there after he shot it.Her husband was livid.My husband was shocked.He had never done anything to make her afraid. The new growth is forgiving of the view of their house now.I know one day I will have to walk down there to check our pins on the property.Our woods is wild & free.Their little development doesn`t allow for much.They were dumping cat litter,brush,even their outdoor dog pen on our property.My dh would check our pins regularly.They didn`t much like it.I expect they won`t like me either.

No nests in trees.The huge stick nest is gone,been gone for awhile.Did the birds transfer it to somewhere else? You`d think with all of the sticks, I would have seen some evidence of it if it had fallen to the ground.

The crows have a nest somewhere,and the hawk has been hunting,hunting.At dusk last night the hawk must have taken a robin,I heard the robins chirping sadly.Another sad voice was the red-bellied woodpecker.I rushed out in my nightgown with the camera,but couldn`t see.Then I worried,I am too old to be rushing around outside in the dusk.Too old,too old,but I am not old.Really.59.Best years of my life are coming,I know, as God has promised me He needs me here yet.

barley blowin` in the wind
crow carrying nest materials
crow,hiding in the pines
Pictures from the farm,another place so close to my heart,love you Cathleen & Lamar...growth in the woods,birds at the house.
song sparrow on the farm


Aleta said...

You have such a gift for photography! This is a nice write-up. Moving on to find new friends. I hope you don't forget your "old" ones . . !
Love you and keep in touch when you want to.

ButchCountry said...

I just love your photos, you have a true gift to be sure.
It is good to read your posts again, I have missed you and think of you often.
Our thoughts and prayers are always with you , thank you for sharing.

JoJo said...

Great pictures! I am not sure I understand why the winter season worries you though. Did your husband take care of firewood and such?

Just take one day at a time...grieving and moving on is a long process.

Joyful said...

Beautiful photos Phyllis. I'm sorry about your neighbours. They don't sound too friendly or nice. It sounds like you have a lovely property and it looks it too from the photos. You are too hard on yourself in your grief journey. It takes time and you seem to be doing very well so far. Just let yourself feel the emotions as that is how you will walk through it all with God's help. Hugs. xx

Debra said...

Hey Phylisso-you and I are the same age. And no, it's not old. My hair isn't even starting to 'turn' colors yet! I love it that you are holding on to promises in God's word for you. He is our Rock and fortress-a present help in time of trouble. I am puzzled how anyone can make it in this life without God.
Dear heart-you are doing great. Move one day at a time, and pray about the future. Your old pals are here for ya. I'm one of 'em.
Love, Debra

Tammy said...

Hi Phyllis,
You are often in my thoughts and prayers. If you have not seen this blog you might check it out.

She lost her husband a year or so ago and has been dealing with it since then. You may have to go back quite a ways in the blog.

Take care of yourself.


Thistle Cove Farm said...

Phyllis, beautiful photography and beautifully presented. Yes, you must focus on getting ready for winter - preparing not only yourself but the house and property. It's only the end of June and I'll begin prepping the house/farm next week. I don't know where you live but, if you have a harsh winter, you need to make sure you've plenty of fuel for heat. When we first bought our farm Dave asked what was absolutely necessary to me. My response, "Heat and Eat. I want a wood stove for heat, a gas stove for cooking and a well." He provided all three. This week I canned 39.5 quarts of tomatoes and 10 pints of tomato sauce; it's the first time I've canned since Dave died and it is good.